Poems / Vicki (wife)
A Suicide Survivor's Beatitudes
by LaRita Archibald
BLESSED are those who recognize our grief is compounded; that we grieve the death of a beloved person but foremost, we grieve the cause of the death...suicide.
BLESSED are those who give us permission to mourn the loss of one dearly loved, free of judgment, censure and shame.
BLESSED are spiritual guides who relieve our concerns for the repose of our loved one's soul with the truth that God is All-Knowing, All-Loving and All-Forgiving.
BLESSED are those who don't offer the meaningless cliché, "Time Heals", because, for a long while, the passing of time holds no meaning or value for us.
BLESSED are those who don't say, "I know just how you feel", but instead say, "I am here for you. I will not tire of your tears or your words of sorrow and regret."
BLESSED are those who have the patience and love to listen to our
repetitive obsession with WHY? without offering useless answers or
explanations.
BLESSED are those who reaffirm the worth of our deceased beloved by sharing memories of his/her goodness and times of fun, laughter and happiness.
BLESSED are the mental health care providers who explain to us that, very probably, our loved one died of a terminal illness called depression.
BLESSED are those who challenge our sense of omnipotence with the reminder that no one has enough power or control over another to cause them to end their life.
BLESSED are the first responders to our loved one's suicide who try to relieve our sense of guilt and responsibility by assuring us "This death is not your fault".
BLESSED are those who lend acceptance to the value of the relationship we shared with the one who died by allowing us to speak of them and 'what might have been'.
BLESSED are those that allow and encourage us to use our loved one's death in a manner that gives our loss and grief meaning and purpose.
BLESSED are those who do not expect us to find "closure", "grief
resolution", "recovery" or to "be healed", understanding that these terms define 'grief work in progress' that will take the rest of our life.
BLESSED are community caregivers who direct us to suicide bereavement support groups where our anguish is understood, our loss validated and where we are encouraged by the example of others who have traveled this road before us.
BLESSED are long-term survivors after suicide who role-model not only can we survive, but, in time, we can thrive…we can regain peace of mind, restored confidence, renewed productivity and a revived zest for living.
http://www.heartbeatsurvivorsaftersuicide.org/materials/beatitudes.htm
Please see me through my tears
by Unknown
You asked, "How are you doing?" As I told you, tears came to my eyes...and you looked away and quickly began to talk again.
All the attention you had given me had drained away. How am I doing?" I do better when people listen, though I may shed a tear or two. This pain is indescribable. If you've never known it, you cannot fully understand.
Yet I need you. When you look away, I am again alone with it.
Your attention means more than you can ever know. Really, tears are not a bad sign, you know! They're nature's way of helping me to heal.They relieve some of the stress of sadness ....but you are wrong.
The memory of my loved one's death will always be with me, Only a thought away. My tears make my pain more visible to you, but you did notgive me the pain...it was already there.
When I cry, could it be that you feel helpless, Not knowing what to do?
You are not helpless, And you don't need to do a thing but be there. When I feel your permission to allow my tears to flow,you've helped me
You need not speak. Your silence as I cry is all I need. Be patient...do not fear. Listening with your heart to "how I am doing" relieves the painfor when the tears can freely come and go, I feel lighter.
Talking to you releases what I've wanted to say aloud,clearing space for a touch of joy in my life.
I'll cry for a minute or two... and then I'll wipe my eyesand sometimes you'll even find I'm laughing later.
When I hold back the tears, my throat grows tight, my chest aches, my stomach knots...because I'm trying to protect YOU from my tears.
Then we both hurt ME, because my pain is held inside,a shield against our closeness and YOU, because suddenly we are distant.
So please, take my hand and see me through my tears...then we can be close again.
~~~ ~~~~
As the hawks cries fade into the distance,
the heartbreaking howl of the wolf fills my soul,
go in peace LghtiningHawk
we will help her all we can.
Debin April 28, 2005
~~~ ~~~
THE ELUSIVE HAWK
Where is that elusive hawk,
That once cried and soared above?
Could it be he knows the wolf
Is mourning for her love?
Perhaps he knows his presence now,
Might be too much for her to bear,
So silently he flies above,
The wolf, she knows not where.
But when that elusive hawk
Feels the time is right,
Maybe just at sunset,
When dark begins the night,
The wolf will gaze into the skies
And long for her true love,
And she will feel his presence,
As he soars the skies above.
But just as the hawk must fly,
So the wolf must mourn,
Until she has the time to heal,
Our wolf will be forlorn.
By Linda Mathers
May 23, 2005
~~ ~~~
MY DEAREST BRIAN.. MY LOVE
What can be said to let you know
That you're missed beyond belief,
Your Wolf has tried to be so strong,
But weakened by my grief.
The broken heart you left behind,
Still hurts because you're gone,
But hopes to feel a little peace,
With the breaking of each dawn.
At night I look up to the stars,
.For one that shines so bright,
While longing for the warm embrace,
Which used to hold me tight.
The Forget-Me-Nots will bloom again,
Just as they did last year,
And you shall not be forgotten,
For you are always near.
You are in every ray of sunshine,
And every breeze that blows,
In each drop of summer rain,
Or dainty flake of snow.
I'll try my love, to make you proud,
As I try to make it through,
But it's really hard my love,
Because my heart keeps missing you.
Remembering the love we shared,
The Wolf continues to howl a mournful cry for her lost love...the Hawk.
By Linda Mather Apr 27/06
~~ ~~
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